jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

(via bl0wbubblesn0tb0yss)

have you ever fallen in love with a song and put it on repeat for 8 days straight and literally bathed in it and memorized every word and breath and drum beat and guitar string and just married it because wow perfect and then overplayed it and got bored of it but still had a special place in your heart for it

because i have

(Source: warmachinerox, via bac0nhavvk)

my health teacher asked for different ways to prevent pregnancy and i said “do it in the butt” and i got extra credit because no one has ever said that before

(via secretagentbutts)

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

(via itstaylordude)

thedramaticsneeze:

hoshigumayuugi:

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early

YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS

(via bl0wbubblesn0tb0yss)

bondoge:

swag youre it

no snapbacks

(via forever-in-debtt)

If Rihanna doesn’t name her greatest hits album HistoRIH i will blow things up

(via thatniggayoulove)

people who always change their opinions to match with someone elses

(via itstaylordude)

when i was little i learned what schizophrenia was from TV and for a while i was really afraid because i thought i had it since i always heard my own voice in my head so finally i told a doctor and he informed me that what i was experiencing was called thinking.

(Source: dysphoriadaughter, via infiniity-and-beyoond)

dreamboatsandtrenchcoats:

Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Oedipus

Half of our generation wouldn’t even understand that

(via your-local-witch-doctor)