landorus:

cashier: that’ll be $4.20

me: bruh

cashier: bruh

(via pixney)

me: (thinks something mean)
me: dont be fucking rude

coochiepebble:

*Hears footsteps towards my room* Please dont

(via candidly-amanda)

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

(via perfect-verlaine)

Be careful who you vent to.
Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via corivicious)

(Source: itsthelesbiana, via perfect-verlaine)

seedy:

do you ever see an old photo of yourself and wonder why your parents let you out of the house

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

fake-mermaid:

i feel sorry for the kids who didn’t grow up in the high school musical era like damn you really missed out

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are paedophiles.
Guy: Well...yeah.
Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

luvallstuff:

The thing that’s so disgusting about the murders of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Sean Bell etc (a very long list) is that it’s not like we’re trying to figure out who killed them. We know perfectly well. We’re just trying to figure out if that black kid deserved to die. They’re humanity is put on trial, like being a person wasn’t enough. Black people literally have to prove that we’re worthy of living.

(via bnaz)

lamelohan:

my only talent is not being in a relationship

(via my-h-hurts)

stylesxhealy:

stylesxhealy:

THERE IS SUCH A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THE EDUCATION SYSTEM WHEN STUDENTS ARE IN TEARS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT AND WAKE UP EVERY SINGLE MORNING WANTING TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING OUT OF BED WHILE THINKING THAT THEY’D RATHER BE DEAD THAN GO TO SCHOOL

eleven thousand people can relate to this post. that’s not okay. 

(via tianabubb)

basedgosh:

sorry mom im on chore limit ask me again at midnight

(Source: canadad, via littlecomplications)

radoncany0n:

you think I’m shy, but really I’m just making quiet sarcastic commentary on everything happening around me

(via swirlylovelaces)